Saturday, November 7, 2009

Working Mother: Win Your Children

As a working mother, there might be times when you feel jealous to your children's nanny. I did, maybe sometimes still. But the lowest point in my career as a mother was when my daughter was hospitalized because her nanny was taking 1-month unpaid leave.
I have to admit that during the last 1 year before the incident, I got promoted and was very much absorbed with my new role. I was so sure that our bonding was good enough, I overlooked the fact that, just like any other relationship, it needed to be cultivated all the time.

So there I was, strucked by lightening. Realizing that I NEED TO WIN MY DAUGHTER BACK! Now or Never. Now or lose her forever. I started to do things that I knew I should do, but too lazy to do it. I did all the things that I had done when she was younger. And I want to share the 5 things I did to WIN MY CHILD with you...

1. Establish daily routines
To make children feel secured, they need know what to expect. And I also tried to use a very little time that we had.
- I tucked her to bed every night. If I had to stay late, I made it a necessity to talked her on the phone before she went to sleep.
- Before sleeping, we call her father (usually he came home after she sleeps), say prayers together, and I sing her to sleep.
- We take a bath together in the morning. And I used that moments to hear her stories about anything.

2. 50 hugs a day
I am a believer of a theory that says every child need to be hugged 50 times a day to make them feel that s/he is being loved. So I always hugs her every time I could. My daughter and me, we love to cuddle soooo much.
Sometimes when she sleeps, I just love to slip to her room and give her many hugs and kisses. When I'm angry, I put her on my lap or sit beside me, and always put my arms around her. So she knows, that even when I'm angry, I do not love her less.


3. Participate in their world. Introduce them to your world.
I allocate time for watching movies with my daughter. We sing all the Barney and Disney songs. I know all the stories about Barbie princesses. And our favorite game is Guessing Game from Playhouse Disney Channel movies.
And the other way around... My husband and I take our daughter to our office from time to time. When I have to take a teleconference call at home, I let her sit next to me. This had helped her to understand our condition when we're unavailable for her.

4. Listen
Sometimes as a parents you think you know all of the things and have a tendency to always talk and tell. You rarely stop and listen. Like me. I'm a talker. So I need to consciously and constantly remind myself to stop talking, and listen carefully while my daughter's talking.

5. Tell Stories
Children love stories. Me and my husband aIways try to find and tell stories to my daughter. All kind of stories, including what I did at work. I even once told her stories over the phone during my girls night-out.

I love my daughter more than anything in the world. Now she knows and believes that. I WIN her back.

It's just a little share from a career Mom.

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